


Take Her to the Moon

by Milkboi_22



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi Keiji & Kozume Kenma Friendship, Alternate Universe - Hospital, Amnesia, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Car Accidents, Character Death, Childhood Friends, Dreams, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Hospitals, Hurt Kozume Kenma, I Made Myself Cry, I Tried, I'm Sorry, Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou Friendship, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Romance, Sacrifice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-13 04:35:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28772466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milkboi_22/pseuds/Milkboi_22
Summary: “Kenma.”“I’m doing this for his sake but why does this have to hurt so much?”Yaku turned his head to look at Kenma who was blankly staring at the ceiling. He was not crying but Yaku could feel the pain and sadness in his voice as he said those words.“I broke up with him. I was the reason he got into an accident and lost his memories.” Kenma’s voice cracked and almost choked on his words. “I’m such a horrible person.”
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Haiba Alisa/Kuroo Tetsurou, Haiba Lev/Yaku Morisuke, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 22
Kudos: 56





	Take Her to the Moon

_“Kuroo, let’s break up.” Kenma muttered while trying his best to not cry in front of the guy who was already kneeling in front of him and asking him to be with him for the rest of his life._

_Kenma wanted to say ‘yes.’ God knows how much he wants to spend his life with Kuroo but he’s afraid that even he can’t make it to their wedding day._

_“W-What?” To say that Kuroo was shocked would be an understatement. His eyes screamed thousands of emotions but Kenma could only see the pain that was written all over his face._

_He looked away to stop himself from hugging Kuroo and telling him the things that was bothering him for a few months now: his condition, the counted months before he will leave everyone, how afraid he really was when he learned about having Leukemia._

_Swallowing the invisible lump in his throat, he repeated. “Let’s break up.”_

_“Kenma, why? D-Did I do something wrong?” Kuroo stood up and gently held Kenma’s hands while looking directly at him. His voice cracked and Kenma could already tell that he was close to crying._

_‘You didn’t do anything wrong. You always make sure that I’m happy and you never hurt me. You stick with me through sunny and rainy days. You’re everything anyone could ever ask for.’ Kenma wants to tell him that but something inside him was stopping him from doing so._

_‘This is for Kuroo. This is for his sake so don’t blow this up, Kenma.’_

_He sucked his breath and it took all of him to retreat his hands from Kuroo who was now staring at him unbelievably with tears rolling down from his eyes._

_His heart screams ‘I want to hold his hands. I need the warmth again. I want to wipe the tears from his eyes, he doesn’t deserve this.’ but his mind was like a broken record who kept on reminding him that this is for Kuroo’s sake._

_“T-This- This is not working anymore.”_

_“W-What do you mean it’s not working?”_

_“Us.”_

_One word but it was enough to shatter Kuroo’s heart. He was looking intently at Kenma’s orbs, as if he was seeking something. He was hoping that he was joking and was pulling some prank but this is Kenma we’re talking about and he was not the type of person who would prank like that._

_Kenma’s eyes were dead serious._

_“Kenma, y-you’re kidding right?” He whispered, his vision was starting to blur with the tears that are pouring nonstop. “Come on, tell me that this is just a prank. I won’t get mad.”_

_Kenma just stood there, watching that one guy--who did nothing but love him—breaking down, looking so lost and shattered. All because of him._

_“I’m sorry.”_

_That was all he could say. Besides, what’s there to say? It’s not like anything could make Kuroo feel better with just a snap. He just hurt the only guy who was always there for him, the guy who mean the whole world to him. Was he stupid? Was he stupid for doing that? He just want to save him from the pain that he will cause him once he will leave them._

_Before he could even take back what he said, Kenma ran away from that secret garden. It was their favourite place since they were kids. Kuroo just made it look more magical with all those fairy lights hanging on the trees and plants._

_But what made it more special was because of his existence._

_Kenma released the breath that he didn’t know he was holding along with the tears that was threatening to fall ever since he stood in front of Kuroo. He didn’t mind wiping them and continued running, hoping that it would ease all the pain he was feeling and forget everything that happened._

_“Kenma!” Kuroo’s voice rang in his ears._

_‘Don’t look back.’ He muttered to himself and ran even faster even though his knees were threatening to give up. He crossed the highway, not minding the cars and the drivers yelling at him to watch where he was going. The only thing in his mind right now was: ‘I need to get out of here or I won’t be able to stop myself and run back to him. It will only fvck things up even more.’_

_He ran_

_And ran._

_“Kenm—“_

_Only to come into a complete stop when he heard a loud horn followed by a loud thud and people screaming to call an ambulance._

_“Help! A guy got hit by a car!”_

_Kenma felt his blood running cold. His heart was pounding fast as if it was making its way out of his chest._

_Kuroo’s voice. Why can’t he hear his voice anymore?_

_Trying his best to not mind what he was feeling, he turned around only to be greeted by a sight he wished he didn’t see._

_It was Kuroo, laying on the road and bathing in his own blood._

_“Kuroo!”_

Kenma woke up with a heavy heart, sweat dripping down his forehead and cheeks wet with the battalion of tears running on his cheeks. Unconsciously, his hand clutched his chest, feeling the pain that was erupting because of that same nightmare that keeps on hunting him every night.

As if it was reminding him that it was all his fault.

Kenma took a deep breath and looked at his clock that reads 6:30 am. He got up and went straight to bathroom to take a bath. After few minutes, he climbed down the stairs and was greeted by his father who was busy cooking breakfast for the two of them. They ate breakfast together until the clock hits 7 o’clock, reminding Kenma that he needs to go to school.

“Take care, Kenma.” His father smiled at the sight of his son who was busy putting on his shoes.

“You too, father.”

As soon as Kenma stepped out of his house, he saw the ravenette waiting for him with his bag slumped on his shoulders. A sly grin was plastered on his face while staring at Kenma who immediately averted his eyes on his psp.

“Good morning, Kenma!”

“Morning.” Kenma shortly replied as he closed the door of their house and both of them walked towards their school in silence. It has been a year since the accident happened and it has been like this ever since Kuroo _lost his memories._

“Say, I have an important announcement later at practice.” Kuroo happily announced which piqued Kenma’s interest. What could be his announcement that made him all jolly and happy? Knowing Kuroo, even simple things such as treating him to ice cream can make him happy but there was something in his eyes right now that made Kenma curious and scared without knowing why he was feeling that.

Shrugging the feelings away, Kenma could only nod his head and continued fiddling with his psp even though his mind was full of questions regarding Kuroo’s announcement. It was his way of distracting himself as Kuroo’s mere presence makes his stomach feel funny.

“You know, I’ve been having strange dreams since last week.” Kuroo suddenly spoke that made Kenma paused. Curiosity once again started bubbling inside him as he waited for Kuroo to continue.

“It was blurred but the place was strangely familiar. I think I know that place but I’m not quite sure.” Kuroo mumbled while caressing his chin. “Oh! And I was with someone! I-I didn’t see his face though but it seems like we were having fun and he was telling me something about the stars and moon. Do you think he’s part of my memories?”

Kenma felt his stomach dropped. Deep inside he was fighting back the tears that are starting form in the corner of his eyes. “M-Maybe it’s just really your dream and i-it has no connection with your memories or whatsoever.”

Upon hearing that, Kuroo’s lips turned into a frown but was immediately replaced by a small smile. “I don’t know about that but it somehow sparked something inside me like it really happened to me once in my life.”

Kenma bit his lips as he tried to concentrate on his game. His mind was flying elsewhere and his mouth was itching to tell Kuroo the truth. He wants to tell him that the guy Kuroo saw in his dream was him. It was the two of them on Kuroo’s rooftop while talking about the comfort that night was giving them. It was when they promised to become astronauts someday so they could reach the moon and even joked about living there.

Kenma didn’t know how long has he been staring on his psp until a certain flower appeared in front of his eyes, blocking the screen of his game. His eyes widened at the sight of red tulips—his favourite flower. He looked up and was greeted by Kuroo who just smiled and hand him the flower.

“W-Where did you get this?” Kenma flushed as he stared at the red tulips he was holding. It was beautiful.

“One of the houses we passed by. It seems like you were so absorbed with your game that you didn’t even noticed I was not walking with you for how many seconds.” Kuroo heartily chuckled. “I just remembered that tulips are your favourite.”

Kenma’s cheeks were tinted red as he silently mumbled ‘thanks.’ They continued walking until they reached their school and parted ways when they went to their respective classrooms.

\--

“This is Alisa Haiba, my girlfriend.” Kuroo announced as he wrapped his arms around the blonde’s waist and pulled her closer to him. The said girl flashed a bright smile before lightly smacking Kuroo’s arms. The red tint that blossomed on her cheeks didn’t go unnoticed.

“Uh, well she’s my sister so of course I know her—“ Lev wasn’t able to finish his sentence when Yaku suddenly kicked his shin.

“I’ll let you slide for today, Lev but you’ll run twenty laps tomorrow.” Kuroo grinned sheepishly causing Lev to frown.

“What? That’s not fair!”

“Mhm.”

The whole gymnasium was resonated with laughter and ‘congratulations’ from the volleyball team. They were on their break and making the most out of the ten minutes. The boys were gathered around Kuroo and Alisa except a certain pudding head who was lying on the ground and reflecting his life decisions. Yaku seems to notice that Kenma wasn’t with them so his eyes searched the room and immediately walked towards him. Kenma felt his presence but didn’t bother sitting up and just shot him a side glance.

They both lay on the gym floor in a comfortable silence. Yaku wasn’t expecting that Kenma would initiate a conversation so he thinks of a way to talk to him.

“The weather’s not good lately. It seems like it’s going to rain anytime soon.” Yaku started. “Did you bring your umbrella?”

Kenma closed his eyes for a second before opening it again and sighed. “I’m fine.”

“I was asking if you brought an umbrella with you.”

“I didn’t.” Kenma replied shortly. Yaku thought that it was the end so he opened his mouth say something but Kenma cut him off. “Even if I drenched in rainwater and caught a fever, it wouldn’t be the death of me. So, don’t worry, Yaku.”

“Kenma.”

“I’m doing this for his sake but why does this have to hurt so much?”

Yaku turned his head to look at Kenma who was blankly staring at the ceiling. He was not crying but Yaku could feel the pain and sadness in his voice as he said those words.

“I broke up with him. I was the reason he got into an accident and lost his memories.” Kenma’s voice cracked and almost choked on his words. “I’m such a horrible person.”

“Don’t blame yourself. No one wanted it to happen.” Yaku was finding his words to comfort Kenma. “You’re doing so much for him and you don’t know how many times I was tempted to tell him the truth every time I see you faking a smile and fighting back your tears.”

“You always think of what’s best for him but how about you? When are you going to start thinking about yourself? Are you happy with this? You deserve happiness too, Kenma.”

A single tear dropped on Kenma’s cheek but he was quick enough to wipe it away. “Just promise me that you won’t tell anyone about my condition.”

“I promise.”

“Even Lev.” Kenma added and slightly glanced at Yaku who was blushing furiously.

“W-What does that russian boy have to do with this, huh?”

Kenma smiled when Yaku stuttered and now as red as a tomato. “Oh nothing. I just thought you might slip.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Sure.” Kenma shrugged,clearly teasing the older who just scoffed but nonetheless smiled.

The whistle blew signalling that their ten-minute break was already over. Yaku was the first one to stand up and reached for Kenma’s hand to help him stand up. They cleaned themselves, patting off the dirt from their jersey and made their way towards their team mates who are already gathered.

\--

It has been a week since Kuroo announced his relationship with Alisa and it has been a week since Kenma was enduring the pain that he’s feeling every time Kuroo talks about his girlfriend and how happy he was to be with someone like Alisa.

“Then there’s this one time when we were walking out of the café and saw an old man asking for food. She told us to wait because she’s going to buy something and when she came back, she was holding a paper bag with food inside it. Isn’t she the sweetest?” Kuroo narrated dreamingly.

It’s Sunday and they are both hanging out in Kenma’s room. The latter really had no plans for today except completing the level he was currently at but Kuroo insisted on coming over and Kenma couldn’t bring himself to say no. Kuroo was busy scribbling something on his notebook but stopped midway to tell Kenma about his dates with Alisa.

Kenma glanced up shortly but it was enough to clearly see the sparkles in Kuroo’s eyes and he was so sure that he’s head over heels in love with her.

_Because he used to look at him that way too._

Kenma felt like there were hundreds of knife stabbing his heart right now, all at once. He was trying to focus his attention to what Kuroo was saying but his mind was flying back to the good old times when everything was okay and almost perfect.

“How about you, Kenma? When are you planning to find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with?” Kuroo asked him curiously. “Do you like someone? Did you tell me about your crush before I lost my memories? Who was it?”

Kenma almost laughed bitterly upon hearing that. He badly wants to say _‘it’s you. It has always been you.’_ But the words that unconsciously left his mouth was beyond what he was expecting.

“It doesn’t really matter. I let him go and now he’s planning his future with someone else.”

Kuroo’s eyes widened and his mouth agape. He never heard anything about Kenma’s love life since the accident happened and now it only sparked the curiosity inside him. He was hoping that Kenma would talk about it more but it seems like he has no plans on telling him. Silence enveloped them and no one dared to break it, not until Kuroo’s pen slipped from his fingers and rolled under Kenma’s bed.

“Oh sorry.” He whispered before standing up and walked towards the bed. He knelt down and tried to reach for it but his hands caught a box instead. He took it and was about to ask Kenma about it but he was greeted with Kenma whose eyes widened at the sight of a familiar box.

“Hey, Kenma. Are you okay—“ before Kuroo could even ask him, Kenma snatched the box from him and caged it in his arms as if his life depend on it.

Kuroo was confused because of the sudden reaction as well as Kenma’s expression. He looked so scared and there was a panic in his eyes as he stared at him.

“S-Sorry.” Kuroo stuttered before swallowing an invisible lump in his throat.

“No, I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that, it’s just that—“ Kenma was trying to find the right words to say. He can’t tell him that it was the box that contained all of Kuroo’s handwritten letters for him. “This is just so important to me t-that’s why I-I reacted like that.”

Kuroo was staring intently at Kenma whose body was now shaking and it looks like he was trying so hard to stop it but to no avail.

Kuroo wanted to hug him so he would calm down but his body was not cooperating. He just stood there, eyes staring directly at the pudding head who just stared back at him. After who knows how many seconds, Kuroo cleared his throat.

“I should get going. It’s getting dark outside.”

“O-Okay.”

Kuroo forced himself to smile before picking up his notebook and leaving Kenma alone in his room, completely forgetting the pen that was under his friend’s bed. His mind was clouded with so many questions that he didn’t notice he was in front of his house. When realization hits him, he just sighed before entering his house that was just beside Kenma’s.

Meanwhile, Kenma’s knees collapsed the moment Kuroo left the room. His heart was pounding erratically and his hands were sweating. He was beyond scared the moment he saw what Kuroo was holding but was relieved when Kuroo didn’t notice his name that he himself wrote on the box.

“So close.” Kenma mumbled to himself, still hugging the box that Kuroo gave him on their first month.

\--

A month passed with nothing much happened. It was the same routine, Kenma waking up and getting ready for school, Kuroo waiting for him outside and they would walk to school together while Kuroo would talk about his relationship, they would part ways to go to their classrooms, eat lunch together, volleyball practice, go home together and hang out during weekends.

They would talk about a lot of things (mostly Kuroo), except Kenma’s love interest that became a sensitive topic since that day. Kuroo came into a conclusion that maybe _that person_ was the one who gave the box to Kenma that’s why it meant so much to him and although Kuroo was curious, he knows his limits and he won’t cross that.

“Are you sure you’re okay walking home by yourself?” Kuroo softly asked.

“Kuroo, I’m not a kid.”

“But still—“

“I’m fine. You should get going. Alisa’s waiting for you.”

“I can still walk you home though. It’s just five minutes away—“

“Every second counts.” Kenma doesn’t know why but those words tasted bitter in his mouth. “I can go home by myself. Don’t worry about me.” He was about to turn around to get going but stopped when they heard another voice.

“I can walk him home if you want, Kuroo-san!” Lev volunteered while raising his right hand. Kuroo raised his brows and glanced at Kenma who didn’t say anything and just looked at Lev.

“You mean _‘we’._ ” Yaku corrected before a smile made its way on his lips when he met Kenma’s gaze.

Lev shyly caressed his neck when he felt Yaku’s presence beside him. “Oh yeah. We have a lot of things to talk about, Kenma-san!”

“What do you mean?” There was a hint of suspicion in Kuroo’s voice but no one paid attention to it.

Yaku held his shoulders and slightly pushed him as if he was telling him to go. “You can go now, Kuroo. Have fun!”

Yaku and Lev waved him goodbye while Kenma just nodded as he watched him walk away. Once Kuroo was out of sight, Yaku and Lev sighed before stealing a glance at Kenma who just stared at them with a blank look.

“Kenma-san, I-I’m sorry.” Lev quietly said after a deafening silence.

“What are you sorry for?” Although Kenma knows what he meant, he still can’t find a reason why would Lev apologized. “Are you sorry for doing what I asked you to do?”

“I-I—can’t imagine how horrible you must be feeling right now. I didn’t expect their relationship to escalate like that. I think it was insensitive of me to introduce them to each other—“

“Have you forgotten that I was the one who asked you to do that?” Kenma asked him while looking at the night sky. It was illuminated with the bright moon and millions of stars, making the night alive. Kenma wished that he would feel like that too because all he can feel right now was nothing but dead.

“I’m still confused, Kenma-san. Why do you want them to be together? Are you a masochi—“

“Lev.” There was a hint of warning in Yaku’s tone when he called him out. He then turned to Kenma who was just smiling weakly. “Kenma, I’m sorry. Lev was just—“

“Lev, do you really want to know the truth?” Kenma averted his gaze to the russian boy who looks like he didn’t expect to hear that from his upperclassman. “I don’t think you’re ready to hear it though.”

Lev was more confused than before. Was it really that serious that even Yaku was starting to tear up?

When Kenma saw their reactions, the first thing he did was to look away. “But first, does your sister know about Kuroo’s past relationship?”

“No.”

“Good, don’t ever mention it to her, okay?”

Lev nodded.

“After I tell you the truth, promise me that you won’t tell anyone. Not Kuroo, not even to your sister.” Kenma was dead serious. There was something chilly about his voice that it brought goose bumps to Lev’s body.

Lev was not the type of person who could keep anything from his sister. They were close since they were kids but he really wants to know why Kenma’s acting liking this. Why did Kenma broke up with Kuroo, why doesn’t he want Kuroo to remember anything about their relationship and why did Kenma asked him to introduce Alisa to Kuroo and do everything to get them together.

“Okay, I promise not to tell anyone.”

Kenma once again smiled weakly that caught Lev off guard. He suddenly felt weak and light-headed but he tried to shrug off that uncomfortable feeling and took in a deep breath.

“I have—“

“Kenma, you don’t need to do this.” Yaku interrupted. “You don’t owe him an explanation or anything.”

“Yaku, it’s okay. I trust him—“ Kenma stopped as he hold into Yaku’s arms when he felt like collapsing. It was as if the surrounding was moving and he felt like throwing up.

Lev was shocked and scared when he saw blood running from Kenma’s nose to his lips and chin.

“Kenma-san! Your nose is bleeding!”

“Lev! Call an ambulance!”

“Should I just hail a cab so we can get to the hospital faster? Or should I just call Kuroo-san—“

“No! Do anything but that! Just call an ambulance!”

Kenma could only hear Lev and Yaku’s faint voice, calling him again and again before he was completely swallowed by darkness.

\--

“I suggest he will stay here from now on so we could monitor his condition. If that’s okay with you.”

“If you think that is the best for my son, it’s fine.”

“Please follow me, Mr. Kozume. I have some important matter to discuss with you.”

Yaku and Lev slightly bowed before they felt a hand tapping their shoulders. They looked up and saw Kenma’s father smiling sadly at them. “Kindly look after Kenma for me.”

“We will, Mr. Kozume.”

“Thank you.”

It was not long before they were left standing in the middle of the hallway, outside Kenma’s private room. After few minutes of debating whether to go inside or not, they’ve decided to just go inside so they could look after Kenma. They were greeted by a sight they wished they don’t get to see.

It was weird seeing Kenma sleeping on a hospital bed, wearing a hospital gown, an IV on his left arm and looking paler than usual. Yaku just noticed the bruises on his left and right arm, no wonder it was because of volleyball. He had been telling the younger to stop so he could take a rest and prioritize his health but Kenma didn’t want their team mates to be suspicious of him.

“I didn’t know it would be _this_ serious.” Lev muttered. Eyes not leaving Kenma who was sleeping soundly.

“Now you know.”

“Since when did you know about this, Yaku-san?”

Yaku bit his lips before answering, “two days after Kuroo’s accident. I saw Kenma outside of his house. He was throwing up and his nose was bleeding. I panicked and my legs automatically ran towards him. He was shocked to see me there but he let me help him and that was the day he told me everything.”

Lev didn’t say anything and just looked at his shaking hands.

\--

_“Lev.”_

_Lev turned around to see Kenma awkwardly standing there with his hands on his back._

_“Oh, Kenma-san! Are we going to practice spikes?”_

_“No, not today.” Kenma replied shortly. Lev nodded in understanding but was confused when Kenma didn’t move from where he was standing._

_“Uh, do you need something, Kenma-san?”_

_Kenma hesitated for a bit before he answered. “Can you do me a favour? Just this once.”_

_Lev’s eyes widened that it almost look like they’re going to pop out of his sockets. He knew Kenma was a type of person who would do anything by himself as long as he can do it. So hearing him ask for a favour (especially from Lev) was a first._

_“A favour?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“What is it?” Lev was now interested to know what would be his favour. After all, out of the people in the gymnasium, Kenma approached him for help so that would mean that he trust him as well. Lev’s not sure if he can do it because it all depends on Kenma’s favour but one thing’s for sure, Lev would do anything to not disappoint his upperclassman._

_Kenma gulped before looking directly in his eyes. “Can you introduce Kuroo to your sister? It seems like he likes her a lot. A-And if it’s not too much to ask, please do everything to get them together.”_

_Lev’s reaction was priceless. He looks dumbfounded, clearly not expecting that kind of favour._

_Did he heard him right? Kenma wants Kuroo and Alisa to be together?_

_“W-What? Kenma-san, a-are you sure?”_

_“Why? Does your sister have a boyfriend?”_

_“No, she doesn’t have one. But you and Kuroo-san—“ Lev stuttered as he try to absorb everything that was happening. “Are you sure about that?”_

_The favour would be easy. It would be easy if only he doesn’t know about their past relationship because just like his other team mates, Lev was also a witness of how their relationship started, their ups and downs and how it sadly ended._

_Kenma fell silent for a few minutes. Lev couldn’t tell what was going on in his mind right now. He had a blank face and it looks like he was in deep thoughts._

_“I just want to find someone who’s deserving of his love.” Kenma’s voice was low but it was enough for Lev to hear what he was saying. “Someone who he can spend his entire life with.”_

_“Kenma-san, what are you talking about?”_

_Kenma forced a smile but for the first time, Lev can see right through him. His eyes held mixed emotions but pain was more evident. “I’m not that ‘someone’, Lev.”_

_\--_

“So, Kuroo-san doesn’t know anything about Kenma’s condition?” Lev asked before glancing at Yaku who just nodded. “And Kenma-san has no plans on telling him?”

“Yes.”

“But why? Doesn’t Kuroo-san deserve to know the truth? After all, we are talking about Kenma-san here.”

“We are not in the position to tell him that, Lev.” Yaku softly muttered. “We must respect Kenma’s decision.”

Lev sighed, a pang of guilt hit him hard and Yaku clearly sensed that but he didn’t know what to say so he remained silent.

“So Kenma-san already planned all of this huh. He knew that it would hurt Kuroo-san in the end so he chose to hurt him _that night_ so he could move on. He wants Kuroo-san to be happy with someone else instead of seeing him cry and in pain once he’s—“ Lev paused, he can’t even bring himself to say that word. It felt so heavy and unacceptable. “But things messed up even more when Kuroo-san met an accident and lost his memories. Kenma-san told us not to mention anything to Kuroo that would remind him of their relationship because he doesn’t want to make things complicated. He has been enduring all the pain since when? I-I can’t even imagine it.”

Yaku could only nod before wiping the single tear that left his eye. Lev doesn’t know what to feel, he wants to punch himself for not realizing it sooner. He felt so stupid that he didn’t put the pieces of the puzzle before. He remembered the day when he learned that Kenma broke up with Kuroo and the latter got hit by a car that same night, he was kind of disappointed because he didn’t expect that Kenma would hurt Kuroo.

He was guilty for feeling that way without even knowing the reason why and now that he knows the truth, he just want to lock himself in his room.

“What a selfless love, Kenma-san.”

\--

_Kenma was behind his team mates, watching them introduce themselves to the ravenette who just smiled and nodded as he listened to them._

_The boy had bandages on his head, neck and arm. He had a few cuts on his face but he still look damn beautiful._

_Kenma remembered the doctor said he can still play volleyball once he’s fine but he needs to be more careful now._

_“And who’s the pudding head behind you, Yamamoto?”_

_Kenma snapped out of his trance when he heard Kuroo’s voice and all heads turned towards him. He could feel his knees shaking and his palms are starting to sweat._

_He took a step forward so Kuroo could clearly see him and with a small voice, he answered. “I’m Kenma Kozume, your best friend.”_

_‘Your best friend.’_

_It was hard to stop himself from running into Kuroo’s arms and never let go but he was thankful that he managed to get a hold of himself from doing that or else he will mess up everything._

_Kuroo blinked a few times before letting out a chuckle. “I didn’t know I have such a pretty best friend!”_

_Kenma swallowed the lump in his throat and forced a small smile as he tried to ignore the butterflies in his stomach. Damn, Kuroo will forever have this effect on him._

_“Nice to meet you, Kenma.” Kuroo chirped before reaching out his hand and flashed a bright smile that never fail to make Kenma’s heart skip a beat._

_The latter reached for his hand, feeling an electricity running through his veins the moment their hands touched. “Nice to meet you, Kuroo.”_

_Once he turned around, he saw his team mates looking at him with sad eyes before looking away and hanging their heads low. Only Yaku was brave enough to look at him in the eyes with a sad smile._

_\--_

Kenma woke up to the smell of alcohol and disinfectant invading his nostrils. He slowly opened his eyes and heard some voices talking in the background. No doubt that it was Yaku and Lev.

His eyes roamed around the familiar room, the room that he would stay in every time he’s confined to the hospital.

“Yaku-san, are we really just going to let Kenma-san in that state without Kuroo-san by his side?”

“Shut it, you talk as if Kuroo’s not in a relationship with your sister.”

“B-But—“

“D-Don’t you dare tell him, Lev or I swear I will visit you in your dreams.” Kenma’s weak voice caused the two to whip their heads towards him. “I can be your biggest nightmare and you don’t want that right?”

“Kenma!” Yaku and Lev almost jumped from their seats, completely ignoring the threat. In just a snap, they were right beside Kenma’s bed.

“Oh God, are you alright? Wait no of course you’re not. Do you want something? Are you hungry? Do you feel any pain? How are you feeling? I should call the doctor—“

“Yaku-san, breathe!” Lev butted in while lightly tapping his back. “Geez, you’re stressing him out!”

“Shut up, you beanpole!”

“Mean, Yaku-san!”

“You two should just marry each other already.” Kenma stated, watching his friends’ cheeks turned a deep shade of red.

“He’s not even my boyfriend—“ Yaku wasn’t able to finish his sentence when Lev grabbed his hand causing him to look at the younger one.

“Well then. Yaku-san, will you be my boyfriend?”

Yaku’s face was beet red now as he tried to free himself from Lev’s grasp.

“Haiba, w-what are you talking about—“

“I’m serious, Morisuke.”

“Are you pulling a prank on me?”

“Why would I do that?” Lev’s eyebrows creased. He briefly closed his eyes and took a deep breath.“I really like you, Yaku-san. I don’t know when did it start but I don’t care about that anymore. I’m just so happy when I’m with you and I don’t care if we practice receives every night. I-I just want to be with you. I’ve been keeping this feelings for so long and just thinking about you makes my heart skip a beat. I can’t hide my feelings any longer, Yaku-san. I think it will drive me insane.” Lev paused. Yaku could feel his hand shaking so he lightly squeezed it to calm him down. “I don’t know if you feel the same way but I don’t want to let go of this moment to ask you.”

“Yaku-san, will you be my boyfriend?”

Kenma wants to cheer them on but he kept his mouth shut and just watch the scene in front of him. Yaku’s eyes were glistening with tears as he stared at Lev who was looking at him fondly.

 _‘Cute.’_ Kenma thought as he suppressed a smile.

“Y-You’re not joking, right?”

“Oh my god, Yaku-san. How many times do I have to repeat my confession—“

This time, Yaku didn’t give Lev a chance to speak. He grabbed the boy’s collar and pulled him in for a sweet kiss. Lev closed his eyes as he kissed him back.

“I don’t want to ruin the moment but I can hear some footsteps coming this way.” Kenma spoke and that was the cue for the two to pull away from each other.

“So, it’s a yes?” Lev asked, eyes sparkling with too much happiness.

Yaku jokingly rolled his eyes. “Do I have to kiss you again?”

“I don’t mind.” Lev smirked when Yaku’s face turned beet red once again.

“Shut up!”

“I’m happy for the both of you.” Kenma smiled. “I’m happy that my ship finally sailed. Don’t forget to invite me to your wedding day—that is, if I’m still alive by that time.”

Yaku and Lev’s smiles slowly faded upon hearing that. Kenma said those words casually as if he was just telling some stories and it shattered them into tiny pieces.

“Kenma.”

Kenma looked down and avoided their gaze. “C-Can I stroll around? This room is suffocating me.”

“We should ask for permission first.” Yaku suggested and Lev took that as a sign to call Kenma’s doctor.

\--

The three friends were quiet as they pass the hallways and reached the hospital’s garden. Kenma was sitting on a wheelchair since it was advised for him to use it so he won’t get tired. Yaku was the one pushing the wheel chair while Lev was walking beside him.

“Didn’t know that a hospital’s garden could be this beautiful.” Lev commented to which Kenma and Yaku agreed. 

The garden was not as dark as they thought it would be. In fact, it is the only place of the hospital that seems lively. There are Christmas lights hugging the trees and plants, the fountain in the middle was illuminated with lights too and the flowers danced as the cold wind blew.

“It is beautiful but this is not my favourite spot.” Kenma muttered causing the two to look at him.

“Really? Where’s your favourite spot then, Kenma?”

Kenma didn’t bother to look at them and just smiled. “The rooftop.”

“Oh? Do you want to go there? Let’s—“

“No, it’s fine here. I don’t want to bother you two.”

Yaku and Lev frowned at that. “But you’re not bothering us at all!”

Kenma shook his head. “It’s late and you’re still here. Your parents might be looking for the both of you.”

As if on cue, Lev’s phone rang. He fished his phone from his pocket and excused himself before walking towards a tree, almost fifteen steps away from where Kenma and Yaku is.

“Kenma?”

“Hmm?”

“I know you’re already sick of hearing this from me but please take a rest and prioritize your health first.” Yaku almost pleaded. “Lev and I can make an excuse for you.”

Kenma wanted to object, tell him that he’s fine and he can still play volleyball but there’s something with the way Yaku was looking at him, as if he was tired too.

“I just want you to be fine.”

\--

The next day, Kenma was temporarily discharged from the hospital. He talked to his father and his doctor last night, asking them if he could at least say a proper good bye to his friends and team mates before he would stay at the hospital. The doctor agreed and gave him one week to do that.

“So, what were the things that you and Lev talked about last night?” Kuroo asked while munching on the sushi that Kenma’s father made for them. As usual, they are at Kenma’s room and hanging out.

“Volleyball.” Kenma lied and he just hopes that Kuroo won’t see right through him because he just sucks at lying.

“Really?” Kuroo sounded unamused that made Kenma raise his brows.

“Why?”

“Nothing, I just thought that maybe he confessed to you or something.”

Kenma coughed upon hearing that. He grabbed the glass of water from his bedside table and drank it in one go. Once he feels okay, he glared at the ravenette who had an unreadable expression.

“What nonsense are you talking about, Kuroo?”

The said guy just shrugged and made himself busy with his homework. “J-Just tell me right away if you already found someone. I want to be the first one to know because I’m your best friend!”

“Sure, I hope you don’t mind waiting forever.” Kenma grumbled, turning on his switch and started playing. He heard Kuroo mumbled something under his breath but he couldn’t hear it. “I don’t think I have the time to find that _someone_ you’re talking about.”

“Oh come on! You deserve all the happiness and love in this world! I already found mine, so you should find yours too!” Kuroo exclaimed, resting his chin on his hand as he stared at Kenma who couldn’t look at him in the eyes. “I will support you and even help you plan your dates! I can give love advice if you want—“

Kuroo stopped talking as soon he saw the tears that are rolling down from Kenma’s eyes. The latter doesn’t show any emotions but the tears that he didn’t bother wiping are enough to tell Kuroo that he’s not okay.

“Kenma, I-I didn’t mean to rush you or pressure you or anything—“ Kuroo was caught off guard when Kenma turned off his switch and put it on the bedside table. “Kenma, are you mad at me?”

“I’m not mad at you.” Kenma plopped down on his bed before wrapping himself with the comforter. “I’m just exhausted but I’m fine.”

Kenma forced a smile to reassure him. At the back of his mind, he wished that Kuroo would believe it or he will ask countless of questions and it would force Kenma to spill the truth that he have been keeping for so long, just to make Kuroo happy.

The ravenette stared at him for who knows how many minutes before he sighed and grabbed his things that were scattered on the floor. Kenma watched him as he hugged his notebooks close to his chest.

“Well then, I guess I should leave now so you could take a rest.” Kuroo waved before making his way towards the door. Kenma waited for him to leave but Kuroo stopped on his tracks and looked over his shoulder. “And if I did something wrong, please tell me. I don’t want you to act like this. You’re so close yet so far, Kenma.”

Kenma looked like he was a deer caught in a headlight. His mind went blank as he stared at the now closed door. Kuroo left and now he was alone with nothing but his thoughts.

\--

Three days passed and Kenma was getting weaker day by day but he paid no attention to it as he stared at himself on the mirror. He’s wearing Nekoma’s volleyball jersey that now seems to be bigger than him than it used to.

“Kenma! Morisuke’s here!”

As soon as he heard his father’s voice, Kenma grabbed his psp from his bedside table and climbed down the stairs. He was greeted by Yaku who seems to be enjoying his father’s signature hot chocolate.

“This is really good, Mr. Kozume.” Yaku commented as he took another sip.

Kenma’s father smiled brightly as he watched the boy enjoying the drink he made. “Thank you. I’m glad you like it!” Kenma’s father heard some light footsteps approaching them so he turned around and greeted his son. “Good morning, Kenma.”

“Good morning, father.”

“I packed you some apple pie so you can share it with your teammates. Wait here.” Kenma watched as his father made his way to the kitchen before his gaze met Yaku who just smiled at him.

“Are you sure about this, Kenma?” Yaku asked, concern with Kenma’s situation.

The latter just nodded before silently answering, “I’ll be fine, Yaku-san.”

“If you’re not feeling well, please let me know immediately.” Yaku reminded him before patting his back. “Don’t you ever force yourself, okay? Promise me, Kenma.”

“But—“

“Okay, just stay in your room. No volleyball for you.” Yaku was about to leave when he felt a hand grabbing his jersey. He shot a glance towards Kenma who was just staring at the floor before he silently mumbled.

“Fine, I promise.”

\--

As soon as they stepped on the doors of the gymnasium, they were welcomed with cheers and greetings from their team mates especially Lev and Yamamoto who really ran towards them.

“Yaku-san! Kenma!”

“Good morning, Yaku-san, Kenma-san!”

Yaku was about to greet them back when Lev caged him in his arms. He was trying to push the taller one but finally gave up when he realized that there’s no use of doing it since the boy has no plans on letting him go. The team teased them as to how whipped Lev is when it comes to the short one causing the two to turn into a blushing mess. Meanwhile, Kenma forced a smile when Yamamoto jokingly punched his right arm. His eyes roamed around the four corners of the room to search for Kuroo but there was no sign of him.

“Tora, where’s Kuroo—“ Kenma almost jumped when he felt a cold hand covering his eyes. His hands automatically made its way to other ones.

“Good morning, Kenma.”

To say that his heart skipped a beat would be an understatement. He almost had a mini heart attack when he heard the voice of the person he was looking for. He could almost hear his breath on his ear and his voice brought shivers down his spine.

_Damn it, Kuroo._

Kenma felt Kuroo’s hands slowly slipping from his eyes and the darkness he saw earlier was replaced with a pair of dark orbs and a messy hair.

“Good morning.” he replied almost inaudible.

“It’s been three days since you last went to school! What happened to you?”

“Shouldn’t you be the one to know what’s happening to Kenma?” Kai questioned with his arms crossed. “I forgot. You’re spending your time with Alisa since she’s going back to U.S in a few days right?”

“Yeah.” Kuroo shyly answered before looking away, the red blush that crept on face did not go unnoticed.

“Kenma-san was just taking a rest, guys! He deserves a break too!” Lev butted in. “Besides, he’s texting and updating me!”

“I find it hard to believe that Kenma’s texting you.” Inuoka mumbled that made Lev’s smile turn upside down.

“Lev you stupid beanpole.” Yaku whispered as he massaged his temples. Everyone looks unconvinced except Kuroo who only stood there with an unreadable expression.

“Alright, let’s just practice, okay? Kenma, are you sure you’re okay? You don’t look fine to me.” Kai asked, eyeing Kenma worriedly.

The latter nodded and slightly smiled. He can see from his peripheral vision that Yaku and Lev was also looking at him worriedly. “I’m fine, Nobuyuki-san. I’ve rested for days and it was enough to regain my energy.”

“Okay, just tell us if you need to take a rest. We’re going to have a practice match against Fukurodani today and I just want everyone to be on your best condition.”

The whole team nodded, reassuring him that they are ready to play on the court.

“Is Kuroo-san, okay?” Fukunaga whispered as they made their way towards Coach Nekomata who was waiting for them on the bench.

Hearing that, Kenma took a side glance and saw Kuroo walking beside Yaku and Kai. He was smiling while listening to Yaku’s story but there was something off with his smile that Kenma immediately noticed but didn’t give a comment about it.

“I think he just misses Alisa.” Kenma casually answered before looking straight ahead.

“Really? He looks jealous to me.” Fukunaga shrugged.

Kenma laughed bitterly upon hearing what Fukunaga had just said. “That’s ridiculous.”

_Kuroo? Jealous? Why would he be jealous?_

“I don’t know, why don’t you ask him?” Fukunuga seem to have read what he was thinking. “No, I didn’t read your mind. Your expression kind of says it all.”

“What are you—“ Kenma wasn’t able to finish his sentence when Coach Nekomata stood up and cleared his throat. He discussed some things with the whole team before Bokuto’s voice boomed inside the gymnasium. The two teams greeted each other with Bokuto and Kuroo being loud as always.

“Uh, where’s Akaashi?” Kenma noticed that the setter wasn’t there. Akaashi is a good friend of his and they became close since the day Bokuto and Kuroo introduced them to each other. Knowing Akaashi, he never skips practice matches so it was new seeing Bokuto without his setter.

Bokuto heard his silent question and his smile faded upon hearing Akaashi’s name.”Akaashi—well, it was so sudden. His family decided to migrate in other country and continue his education there.”

“Really?” Kenma was shocked at the same time suspicious. There was an unsettling feeling on his stomach but he just shrugged it off. A few minutes later and both teams are on the court, playing and pouring their hearts on the game.

\--

The one week given by the doctor passed by like a blur but it was enough for Kenma to bid goodbye to his team mates saying that his father decided to live in another province. Of course it was a lie and the only people who knew about it was Yaku and Lev who always visits him in the hospital after their class.

It has been three months since his last practice match and Kenma couldn’t help but reminisce those moments as he sat on the hospital bed, silently enjoying the sushi that Yaku and Lev bought for him.

“How are you feeling, Kenma?” the older asked, sitting on the chair beside the pudding head’s bed.

“Fine, I guess.” Kenma shortly answered before taking another bite. “How about you and the others?”

“They really missed you.”

“Especially Kuroo-san and Yamamoto-san!” Lev added.

Kenma paused, feeling something stir inside him. He’s not going to deny that he misses Kuroo _a lot._ Since the first day of his stay in the hospital, Kenma feel like throwing up, not feeling comfortable with the foreign atmosphere. He felt so alone even though his father stays by his side. He just wants to go home and hang out with Kuroo or play volleyball with his friends but of course, that’s not the case now.

Kenma was about to say something when his phone rang. He slowly reach for his phone that was resting on the bedside table and almost froze upon seeing the caller’s ID.

_Kuroo Tetsurou is requesting for a video call._

“Sht.” Kenma cursed under his breath. Yaku almost had a heart attack when Kenma abruptly stood up before pulling the IV pole with him and walked towards the couch where Lev is currently sitting.

“Kenma, be careful!”

“Who’s tha—“ before Lev could even finish his sentence, they heard a familiar voice from Kenma’s phone.

“Kenma!” Kuroo’s ever silvery voice greeted him as Kenma silently signalled Lev to move a little bit so Kuroo won’t see him. Lev understood and quickly transferred to another sofa.

“Kuroo.” Kenma cleared his throat before adjusting the camera. He makes sure that Kuroo won’t notice that he’s in the hospital.

“Woah, nice place!” Kuroo commented to which Kenma only answered with a small smile.

_Hospitals will never be a nice place for me._

“Oh by the way, how are you, Kenma? I bet it’s nice to live in a place away from pollution huh.”

“I’m fine and yeah, I guess it’s nice.”

 _‘Imagine being locked inside your room for how many months, inhaling the smell of alcohol and disinfectant.’_ Kenma was tempted to tell him the truth but stopped himself just like what he has been doing for more than a year.

“I really miss you.” Kuroo mumbled with nothing but fondness and sincerity. He looked at Kenma who was trying his best to stop the tears from falling and just nodded.

“Same here.”

“I’ll see you soon, okay? Let’s keep in touch.”

“Of course.”

“I need to go now, Mom’s asking me to accompany her to the grocery store.”

“Alright, take care and send my regards to her.”

Kuroo flashed another bright smile that could definitely light up the whole city. “Take care, Kenma. See you soon.”

\--

Another week passed and Kenma found himself walking around the hospital with his IV pole on the right. It has been a part of his routine to walk around at least five times a week. Even though the doctor advised him to use a wheelchair, Kenma didn’t want to feel so weak so he rejected the idea and go for a walk to at least breathe some fresh air.

The sun was already up but with the thick clouds surrounding it, there’s a big chance that the rain might fall anytime soon. Kenma settled himself on the wooden bench under the tree, watching the other patients talk and laugh.

“Kenma?”

Kenma almost jumped out of his seat when he heard a familiar voice behind him. He looked up and was surprised when he saw the person he didn’t expect to see here.

“Akaashi?”

The latter smiled upon hearing his name. “Hi, can I sit here?”

Kenma looked at him, shocked and confused when he saw an IV pole that Akaashi was holding. “Oh, sure.”

Akaashi’s smile became wide as he sat next to Kenma who was still looking at him unbelievably.

“I thought my eyes were playing some tricks on me but it’s really you.” Akaashi muttered while looking at the fountain in front of them while the birds seem to be enjoying themselves on the water. “So, was this the reason why you broke up with him?”

Kenma sighed before looking away from his friend who’s known for being straightforward. “Yes.”

“I can’t blame you and I understand why you didn’t tell anything to us.” Akaashi whispered.”You don’t want us to worry.”

“You know me too well that sometimes it’s scary.” Kenma joked as the atmosphere is getting heavier. “When I found out that I have Leukemia, the first person that crossed my mind was him.”

Akaashi nodded and didn’t even bother opening his mouth to say something. He knew that Kenma would start talking about what happened more than a year ago.

“I don’t want to let go of him but I need to do it for his sake.” Kenma continued as he bit his quivering lip. He remembered the pain he felt that night as he lay on his bed, gazing up at the ceiling and thinking about what to do next. The fear he felt was too much that even now he can feel his body trembling. “I know that it wasn’t the best thing to do but it was _the right thing_.”

“I don’t want him to suffer with me, he deserves all the love in the world. He deserves to be happy. He shouldn’t waste his time taking care of me, I would leave this world soon anyway.” Kenma sounded casual as he said those words. He said it casually that it became painful for Akaashi to accept what was happening.

“He deserves to be happy and you deserve it too.” Akaashi replied before glancing at Kenma who almost looked like skin and bones. He was far from the first time they met each other and Akaashi noticed that Kenma didn’t bother dyeing his hair.

“His happiness is my happiness.”

“You don’t look happy.”

“Mind telling me why did you lie to Bokuto and told him that you migrated to another country?” Kenma tried to change the subject and Akaashi knows that. He knew he was hurting that’s why he decided to ride along.

“I have Hanahaki Disease for three months now.” Akaashi plainly answered, his face was void of any emotion. “And I know it was stupid of me to fall for him but what can I do? As cheesy as it may sound but my heart beats for him and only him.”

As if on cue, Akaashi started coughing up blood-stained lavender rose petals and Kenma’s eyes grew wide as he was not used to seeing his friend like this. He immediately tapped his back while Akaashi watched them fall on the ground and smiled sadly before he wiped the blood from his mouth. He reached for the water bottle that he bought earlier and drank it in one go.

“Why didn’t you confess to him?” Kenma curiously asked. He could feel that Bokuto likes Akaashi, with the way how his eyes sparkle every time he looks at his setter, how he talks proudly of him, how thankful he was when Akaashi chose Fukurodani and the red tint on his cheeks when Akaashi smiles because of him.

“He likes someone else.” Akaashi replied, his eyes were glistening with tears but he was good in holding them back. “My parents want me to undergo a surgery but I refused. They respect my decision but then I always hear my mom crying at night and my dad was trying to comfort her, saying that it was my decision so they should just respect it. The next morning I would be greeted with their red, puffy eyes and I just know that it was because of me.”

“So, you’re here for surgery?”

“Yes.”

“Akaashi.” Kenma turned to face his friend and put his arm around his shoulder. “I don’t want to put your hopes up but believe me, you don’t have to do this. I think there’s a misunderstanding because it’s impossible that Bokuto doesn’t feel the same way. He likes you and I’m sure of that.”

“I-I don’t know, Kenma. What if you’re wrong? The flowers will instantly kill me.”

“I’m not forcing you, Akaashi. I just don’t want you to live your life full of ‘what ifs’.”

Akaashi stared at him for a few seconds before he sighed. “I-I’ll try.”

“I don’t want to see you here again, Akaashi.” Kenma added that caught Akaashi off guard. “Go live your life and be happy.”

Akaashi wasn’t able to control his tears anymore. He let them fall from his eyes and raced down his cheeks before pulling Kenma into a tight hug. His body wracked with an onslaught of sobs and tears as Kenma returned the hug with the same warmth.

“Kenma, don’t leave--” Akaashi’s voice was strangulated while Kenma was trying so hard not to cry. “Don’t leave me please.”

Akaashi cried even harder and it was painful to hear him like that. Kenma was trying his best to comfort him, telling him that everything will be alright but Akaashi’s not dumb. He knows that sooner or later he have to accept it and he knows deep inside his heart that it won’t be easy.

\--

Kenma closed his eyes as he breathe the cold evening air. His body was shivering with cold but still, the comfort that the night was giving him is exactly what he needs right now. Kenma looked at the night sky that was illuminated with stars and the bright full moon before he looked down and saw the lights that made their city alive.

He’s at his favourite spot of the building, the hospital’s rooftop. The cold wind and darkness didn’t bother him at all since he knew that no one dares to visit the rooftop at night and that’s what he observed during his stay in the hospital.

Kenma heaved a sigh before putting on his air pods and walking towards the railings of the rooftop. Spending almost one hour of his night at this spot always have that comforting effect on him and it somehow made his stay bearable.

“Kenma?”

Kenma whipped his head towards the entrance of the rooftop and felt his blood running cold upon seeing the person who stared at him with eyes full of worry.

“Kuroo.” He whispered. “W-What are you doing here?”

“I-I was visiting a friend of mine.”

“Okay.”

“W-Why are you here? I-I thought you’re in the province?“ Kuroo was looking at him with an unreadable expression.

Kenma bit his lip as he think of an excuse. “I-I was planning to surprise all of you but then I-I got flu and—“

Kenma wasn’t able to finish his sentence when Kuroo smoothly pulled him into a warm and tight hug. “Nevermind that. You’re here and that’s all that matters.” He whispered while gently stroking Kenma’s back that made the latter melt in his arms.

“I miss you, Kenma.” Kuroo added before he felt Kenma’s arms hugging him back.

“I miss you too, Kuroo.” Kenma’s voice was brittle, as if he was close to crying and Kuroo thought that it was because he’s happy to see him again. A part of it was right but it was an overwhelming mixed of emotions that was slowly eating him.

Kenma was happy to see him again but he was worried of what will happen tomorrow.

“Kenma?”

“Hmm?”

“I gave Alisa a promise ring and she accepted it.”

Kenma felt his heart ache but forced himself to smile. “T-That’s great. I’m happy for you.”

“I’m planning to propose to her on our first anniversary.”

Kenma pulled away from the hug and looked at him in the eyes. “That fast?”

“Yeah, I just know that she’s the one for me.” Kuroo answered and Kenma saw that twinkle in his eyes again. He felt his heart breaking into tiny pieces but at the same time he felt relieved that he found someone deserving of Kuroo’s love.

A familiar song played on Kenma’s airpods causing him to look at the guy in front of him before placing one of his airpods on Kuroo’s ear who looked puzzled.

“Can I have this dance?” Kenma weakly asked, staring at Kuroo who was shocked at first but then his lips formed into a smile after processing what Kenma had just said.

“You’re acting weird but okay.”

**Now Playing: Take Her to the Moon by Moira Dela Torre**

_‘I know it's been a while since our eyes last met_

_Too many words were left unsaid_

_Your head was poking out of the driver's seat_

_Eyes full of tears, I couldn't leave’_

Kenma placed his hands on Kuroo’s shoulder while the latter was holding him on his waist. Kenma smiled as they both swayed to the music.

_‘No matter what I do_

_I still feel you coming back to me_

_When I know that you never will’_

“Do we used to do this before?” Kuroo suddenly asked to which Kenma couldn’t answer right away. “I mean, before I lost my memories?”

“You can say that.”

“Really?” there was a hint of surprised in Kuroo’s voice that made Kenma chuckled.

“Mhm.”

_‘So before I say goodbye_

_Would you do one last thing for me?’_

They continued swaying silently, feeling their hearts beating rapidly. Kuroo was becoming more confused as the feeling of Kenma being this close to him was strangely familiar.

“Kuroo, thank you so much for everything.” Kenma broke the silence between them that caught Kuroo off guard. “Thank you for existing.”

_‘Be happy’_

“And I’m so sorry for everything.” Kenma whispered before burying his face in Kuroo’s chest. “I only did the right thing, believe me. It’s for your sake.”

Kenma’s voice was soft and low which made Kuroo even more confused. Why was he apologizing? Kuroo couldn’t recall anything that made him upset or anything to Kenma.

_‘And take, take her to the moon for me_

_Take her like you promised me_

_Say you love her every time like how you told me the last time’_

“Kenma, what are you saying—“ Kuroo was about to pull Kenma away but he stood still and the hands that was once on Kuroo’s shoulders are now around his waist, hugging him.

“Don’t look at me. I-I want you to listen to me.”

“O-Okay.”

_‘Someday I know we'll meet again_

_In heaven by the rainbow's end_

_And I only wish you happiness_

_Until we meet again’_

Kenma closed his eyes before taking a deep breath. He couldn’t look at Kuroo because he was scared that he’ll just end up crying in front of him and might not be able to tell him everything that he wants to tell him.

“I’m glad I met you, Kuroo. I know that sometimes you feel sad and empty that there’s only a little possibility for you to remember what happened in the past but I assure you that you’ve been a great friend since we were kids. You always stay by my side and make sure that I don’t stay up all night playing video games. You introduced me to volleyball and became part of the volleyball team. You were there during my ups and downs and you’ve been a big part of my life.” Kenma paused, already feeling the tears running down his cheeks. “I’m so happy that you already found someone who you want to spend the rest of your life with. Alisa’s a nice girl and if she makes you happy, then don’t let her go. Your happiness is my happiness and you deserve all the best. Did I already tell you how much you mean to me?”

“Kenma.”

“You mean the whole world to me, Tetsurou.”

Kuroo felt his eyes sting. There was a weird painful feeling that was starting to erupt inside him when he pulled Kenma away and was greeted by a rare sight.

_Kenma is a crying mess._

“Kenma.” He softly mumbled before cupping his face and wiping his tears. “Shh, why are you crying?”

Kenma shook his head, not knowing what to answer. He covered his mouth to stop himself from sobbing but it was useless.

“Kenma, please. Tell me what’s wrong?” Kuroo was worried as hell. It was his first time seeing Kenma crying like this and his heart clenched as he watched him looking so vulnerable and broken.

“D-Do me a favour and promise me one thing.” Kenma looked at him with red, puffy eyes as he tried to calm down.

“Anything.”

Kenma cupped his face and stared at him with eyes full of love and fondness. “Take her to the moon for me, okay?” Kenma’s voice cracked as another battalion of tears escaped from his eyes.

Kuroo nodded. “I promise.”

It was enough to make Kenma smile, feeling weaker as the time passes by. He hugged Kuroo once again, basking in the warmth of his embrace before his breathing becomes shallow to which Kuroo immediately noticed.

“Kenma?”

“D-Don’t worry about me. I’m just t-tired and sleepy.” Kenma’s eyes were threatening to close but Kuroo knows he was trying his best to stay awake.

“Let me carry you to your room.”

“Alright.”

Kenma told him his room number as Kuroo walked pass by the private rooms with Kenma in his arms. The latter was saying something but it was inaudible. Kuroo didn’t ask him as to what was he saying and instead laid him on the bed when they reached Kenma’s room.

Kenma’s father was there and he looked like he just woke up from sleep with the way his eyes grew wide when he saw Kuroo carrying Kenma.

“Kuroo, what are you doing here?”

“Good evening uncle. I was visiting a friend of mine and saw Kenma at the rooftop.”

“Really? Thank goodness you found him. I fell asleep while waiting for him to wake up so he can eat his dinner but it looks like he took the opportunity to escape again.” Kenma’s father shook his head before glancing at his son who was sleeping with a small smile on his face.

“You’re welcome, uncle. As much as I want to stay here and look after Kenma, I still have a homework to finish.”

“It’s okay, Kuroo. Take care of yourself on your way home and thanks again.”

Kuroo bid goodbye before making his way home. He felt tired but it was all worth it because he finally saw Kenma again after how many months. It was an unexpected reunion, seeing Kenma in a rooftop wearing a hospital gown was a new sight and Kuroo wouldn’t want to see him in that state again. There’s still an unsettling feeling in his stomach that makes him a bit uncomfortable and nervous but he shrugged it off and looking forward for tomorrow since he’s going to see his best friend again.

He drifted to sleep with that in his mind, only to wake up with his phone ringing and be greeted with sniffles and wheezy voice on the other line.

“Kuroo.”

Kuroo almost jumped out of his bed when he heard Mr. Kozume’s voice.

“Uncle?”

“ _He’s gone.”_ Mr. Kozume continued while suppressing his sobs. _“Kenma’s gone.”_

\--

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, if you were able to finish reading my story, thank you so much for giving it a try! I tried not to spoil much on the summary (it was so shitty I'm sorry) because I don't want to spoil on what's going to happen. 
> 
> This story was inspired by Moira Dela Torre's "Take her to the Moon." and I loved it so much that I came up with this story. You should try listening to it! :))
> 
> Anyway, I hope you liked it. <3 I wrote this story last year but I wasn't able to finish it right away and I'm too shy to post it here but then I gained a lil bit of courage and I thought, why not share it with you? 
> 
> Please let me know your thoughts and don't hesitate to comment. :)) Kudos and comments are highly appreciated!
> 
> Stay safe!


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